a speaking mute

how does one communicate when they are unable to speak?

they could do sign language.

but what if they can't see the person they are trying to communicate to?

they could write a letter.

but that isn't an option.

when someone is in love, they communicate this love by showing signs of affection, buying gifts, spending time together, or something to simply show that they have this feeling that is piercing through them, which is love for another.

i heard a sermon given by John Weese at CIY this summer. actually I saw it. for the first 25 minutes he had his sermon written on posterboard and would show each one in order to communicate what he wanted to share with his audience. It was by far the most powerful sermon I have ever heard...or seen and not a single word was spoken.

I stole this idea to give a gift once. i communicated without saying a single word.

another way to communicate would be to become obedient.

a dog communicates that he understands his master by obeying his commands.

I'm not saying I'm a dog. that is not the point.

out of respect that is due, respect that should have been given along time ago, i am finally learning to obey and become obedient. there is pain that is so deep inside that being disobedient sounds so amazing, but the reward for being obedient is going to be priceless. For once in my life, I am understanding what needs to be done. I don't like it one bit, but am starting to understand it. Being obedient is a way of showing respect, maturity, and love. I'm obeying and changing. Not for the love, but for myself. Out of obedience, I'm also being selfish. Which will later be a blessing and better for me.

so how is one communicate when they are unable to speak?

sometimes saying nothing, communicates everything.

"Field of 'Brokeback Stadium' Dreams" & ticket cursed

This is a long one, so please deal with it.

Part 1: my trip to a Cardinals/Cubs game
Part 2: my theory on being ticket cursed

Part 1 - Field of Brokeback Stadium Dreams

So as I made my way onto the Metrolink to ride to Busch Stadium, I purchased my ticket and got on the first train that came by. I sat down in the front seat and a lady w/ a box of Smirnoff Ice and a trash bag full of groceries sat down next to me. I immediatly felt like this was going to be a comical night. As the train went on, i noticed that she was filing away at her fingers. I then looked a bit closer and realized she was filing away at her hand! Her skin was flaking off. It was as if her hands had never met lotion. Eventually she got off of the train and packed her groceries and smirnoff away with her rotting hands.

Once I got to the stadium, It hit me. The smell of beer and hot dogs filled my lungs. It was a glorious feeling....I'm at my first game ever at this ballpark. Now I have been having the weight on me this whole time of knowing that I wasn't going to be going to the game w/ my original date. This was troublsome for me. Cause I had intended on sharing this experience w/ someone else...but to my dismay, i still found a cubs fan to go along w/ me. Vane Tallen is what we will call him to protect him from those who keep their eyes on him. So Shane and I got....dangit!....anyways, i hope they don't torture him too much now that his name is out...so Shane and I go to our seats...now, these seats were in section 454, row 10, seats 1&2. Aisle seats! 2nd row from the very top of the stadium. It was a gorgeous view, looking straight down the 1st base line from behind home plate. We go and then get some food. I have never had a more expensive hot dog and soda in my entire life. It was good, but not $10 for a hot dog and a sprite. Shane got Hardee's....$15 for a meal....crazy i might say...crazy...

So as the game starts, Cards take the lead 1-0. Here is where it gets crazier. As the Cardinals score their 2nd run of the night, I noticed the score board flicker alot. It was like Field of Dreams. But since Shane is just as white as I am, no chance of me hearing a whispery voice. But nontheless, it was freaky.

Then it just gets crazier....the "kiss me cam" starts to go on the big screen and these two guys show up on it. No, it was not Shane and I. These two guys were like body lifters, not saying Shane and I aren't, cause look at us, we are pretty much a bit deal...But these two dudes were in the side of the shot that the kiss cam was on and they jumped over to each other and kissed each other. In complete shock at this point.

During the 7th inning, the little kid and his dad who were sitting next to me left. They came back a bit later with a funnel cake for the little boy. He was decked out in Phillies gear and clearly was full of energy. As he ate the funnel cake, more powdered sugar made it onto him than into his mouth. He finished it off though and was covered with powdered sugar. It was a great sight to see.

Now for my trip back to my car, following the Cardinals winning! (by the way, if the bet was still on, she'd be wearing a Cardinals shirt soon) So on the metrolink once again, alone. Shane took the east bound train and i headed west, since we met at the stadium anyways....There was this group of about 4 women that clearly had a bit too much to drink. They were very loud and were acknowledging the fact of so many people were on the train. They got louder as the trip continued. It was a site to see. I also had to stand between this really really really short woman who was too old to realize how old she really was and this 300 lb. (roughly estimating) man who either high or strung out. I also noticed an older man about 10 ft. away from me. He was decked out in Cubs gear. His hat was 4 sizes too big for his head and the jerzy looked like it could have fallen off of him. He was the type of guy that every girl in the world would love to have as their grandpa. If it would have been Cardinals gear on him, he would have reminded me of my great grandpa. I finally made it to my car realizing that it had been an eventful night. Although I couldn't share it w/ the one I love, I had a great time with Shane. Even if he is a Cubs fan...


Part 2: the ticket curse

Now for those of you who know me, will understand what i'm getting at really quickly, if you haven't already w/ the title of this section. I think I have a curse. It would appear that anytime I purchase any type of tickets (ie. concert, hockey, baseball) bad stuff happens. Now, I first of all want everyone to understand I'm not taking this seriously, but am simply joking around about it, cause I find it ironic. Most of you remember back to when I purchased concert tickets for this band called Aerosmith...lol....wait...lol..okay, i'm done...

The things that have happened are for a reason. A reason that is so much bigger and so much more beyond me or anyone else. I know that the plan that is laid out before me, is so much bigger than these tickets that i've mentioned or the feelings I have inside. God's got a plan, and I'm ready and willing to listen and learn to what it is.

today...

today i've learned something.

my hopes and dreams are not always what God has in mind for you. God's goals for us through life are not about reaching the end of them, but the process for which it takes us to the end is where it all lies. I don't know what God is trying to do right now in my life, but I know that things are going to change...I can't describe what I feel right now, it's a combination of shock and anticipation. That past few months haven't been easy. Lots of good times, some bad times. But I know that God's plan for me is bigger than anything else in the world. God is not going to put me through something I cannot handle.

A week ago, i was eating w/ some friends and one of them asked me how the food was, i was like, "well, it's nothing worth writing home about"...he replied "you mean it's not worth blogging about" kind of funny how we 'rate' things in our life...from now on, i want to make an attempt to write worthy blogs, no stupid nonsense...well, not that much anyways...

Best Birfday Present Ever!

So last night, I was taken out to dinner by Nikki. She got me the most amazing birfday present ever! So there is this SNL skit that is done by Will Farrel. And the catch phrase in it is "i've got a fever, and the only perscription is more cowbell!". Well, lets just say, i've now got a cowbell. And better yet, it has Will Farrel's face on the front of it and a drumstick to hit it with. I've never had a better gift. It is amazing and we laughed so hard after I pulled it out of the bag, because it is so great. She also got me a hoodie and a movie. She is my most favorite though.

Elephant Rock

Recently I went on a trip to Elephant Rock State Park with fellow interns of Harvester Christian Church. We were told at one point to look for ways that different situations and things that took place during the day could be used as an illustration for the way ministry is in our world. I immediatly realized how we had just climbed through tons of rocks and were at many points throughout our journey stuck on top of a rock with no way down on our own. We had to be a team to get to the next rock or to get down. One really great illustration that still sticks out in my mind today was when we came to this giant hole in the ground that was the quarry. There was lots of water that you could tell had been sitting there for weeks without any fresh water flow or drainage. You could tell that there was oil on the surface of the water and it was just flat out nasty, black, crappy water that had a stench that could make just about anyone die. I think that is how we are as Christians. We are empty holes that get filled with crappy water. We need God and other Christians as support to fill our hole with fresh water and eventally all of the bad water would be gone from the overflowing goodness of the clean water. I think you need to see a picture of what i'm talking about to get a really great idea of what I'm talking about. But for now I hope I've given you a visual.

As for me, I'm doing alright, the summer interns leave tomorrow and then it is just 3 interns left through December. I am learning a lot and being challenged a lot on many levels. It is hard to believe that the summer is nearly over and only a short time left till i'm out of school...for now anyways...