...when it rains, it pours...
due to the utter creativity i have in my mind right now, i will write this blog backwards...like the movie Memento...
...i could not stop thinking about his comments he made and how he had these plans for living his life for Him. the simplicity of his lifestyle and lack of desiring materialistic items convicted me to realizing how materialistic i had been. i thought to myself how i did not plan this visit, but out of nowhere, i remembered he would be around here. i have seen this man's heart and passion. I had seen it 2 years ago when i was in my dorm room talking w/ friends and he and another guy came in and asked if there was anything they could pray about for us. i remember balling my eyes out and resting my head on his shoulder when it came to me and i had been going through so much w/ my mom and learning of how bad my step-dad was continually treating my mother, i poured myself out right there. 2 years later...his heart and passion for God has only grown. i have been blessed by today. great food, great friends, great rain, and a great God!
When i found out about it through the phone call...it didn't bother me. I found it funny actually. Things in life could be worse and there is nothing i could do and getting upset about having soaked seats would have changed nothing. i thought i had remembered leaving my windows down today and my sun-roof open when it started to rain. I later did find out it was true. I had soaked seats. I sat in my car and realized that there was a bit of water standing in puddles on my floor mats. I dried off quickly though after coming across 270 and keeping the windows down....
...He asked me what I had been up to. I said i was on my internship and would be graduating in December and did not know for sure what I was going to do after that. He suggested that i go to Africa and help an organization that needs people here in the US to know what is going on over there and how they need help. He also made the comment to me that there are so many of us that don't know what we are going to be doing in 6 months but how amazing it would be to have a purpose in 6 months and know where I would be going. I stood there thinking in my mind how he had simply helped me better discover who i am. I thought to myself: I am a messenger. I am able to display messages through videos and multimedia and give a message to others. I've been given a gift, a blessing to share through creativity, a message. It is time to take grasp of it and seek where to use it. I'm open to wherever God leads me. That is when the phone rang...
...while randomly finding myself in the cornfields of Greenville, which very much felt like Lincoln, I remembered there was a man we know as Andy Mills would be on campus here...with some help and realizing that people on this campus would know who he is, i asked a couple of guys who looked like they would know him. So I asked and they were like, yeah, he is over in that field playing frisby and that is where he was...
...i witnessed the two little boys playing in the rain puddles. they are only 2 1/2 years old. they giggled so joyfully. they were playing in the rain i way that was like it was the first time they had ever experienced rain. I found myself thinking during this: i am starting to find myself acting the same way with the Word. I read and i know i've read it before, but that is how I'm feeling right now. How is it though that one does not grow up from this feeling, this "child-like" faith? I though to myself how to live life over again and going through it all with the first time experiences...touch, smell, taste, seeing, hearing...i found myself thinking of what could i have changed, and if things would have been differently right now if i had done something different before, but then i realize, no, i could not trade anything for what has happened, because if it wasn't for what happened in the past, i would not be where I am today. Now i do feel terrible about the things i've done, but that does not change anything, i've asked for forgiveness and pray forgiveness has been granted...
...you could smell it coming...it looked like it could have done it all day long...rain. that sweet smell of rain when you know it is going to be a great rain storm coming in. you could hear some low rumbling thunder in the distance. it was a glorious time...after it rained, you could see the steam on the pavement...simply beautiful...
...do you ever have those days when you can just feel like it is going to be a good day? for some reason, despite the random 3 a.m. drunk call i received from an unknown person and the lack of being able to sleep due to the consistant sharp pains in my chest area (if ya get a chance pray for the chest pains, they've just recently been coming back stronger than i've ever experienced and i dunno what to think right now about them...i'm praying it is just stress and they go away...but they've never stuck around this long either in the past...), it just felt like it was going to be a great day. It was like I could hear God saying, "yeah, dude, kick back and relax, today is mine." Then i turned on the TV to learn of the crocadile hunter being murdered by a sting ray. i thought to myself, 'So he's tending the animals in a much bigger kingdom', and then i started out on my day...
...i could not stop thinking about his comments he made and how he had these plans for living his life for Him. the simplicity of his lifestyle and lack of desiring materialistic items convicted me to realizing how materialistic i had been. i thought to myself how i did not plan this visit, but out of nowhere, i remembered he would be around here. i have seen this man's heart and passion. I had seen it 2 years ago when i was in my dorm room talking w/ friends and he and another guy came in and asked if there was anything they could pray about for us. i remember balling my eyes out and resting my head on his shoulder when it came to me and i had been going through so much w/ my mom and learning of how bad my step-dad was continually treating my mother, i poured myself out right there. 2 years later...his heart and passion for God has only grown. i have been blessed by today. great food, great friends, great rain, and a great God!
When i found out about it through the phone call...it didn't bother me. I found it funny actually. Things in life could be worse and there is nothing i could do and getting upset about having soaked seats would have changed nothing. i thought i had remembered leaving my windows down today and my sun-roof open when it started to rain. I later did find out it was true. I had soaked seats. I sat in my car and realized that there was a bit of water standing in puddles on my floor mats. I dried off quickly though after coming across 270 and keeping the windows down....
...He asked me what I had been up to. I said i was on my internship and would be graduating in December and did not know for sure what I was going to do after that. He suggested that i go to Africa and help an organization that needs people here in the US to know what is going on over there and how they need help. He also made the comment to me that there are so many of us that don't know what we are going to be doing in 6 months but how amazing it would be to have a purpose in 6 months and know where I would be going. I stood there thinking in my mind how he had simply helped me better discover who i am. I thought to myself: I am a messenger. I am able to display messages through videos and multimedia and give a message to others. I've been given a gift, a blessing to share through creativity, a message. It is time to take grasp of it and seek where to use it. I'm open to wherever God leads me. That is when the phone rang...
...while randomly finding myself in the cornfields of Greenville, which very much felt like Lincoln, I remembered there was a man we know as Andy Mills would be on campus here...with some help and realizing that people on this campus would know who he is, i asked a couple of guys who looked like they would know him. So I asked and they were like, yeah, he is over in that field playing frisby and that is where he was...
...i witnessed the two little boys playing in the rain puddles. they are only 2 1/2 years old. they giggled so joyfully. they were playing in the rain i way that was like it was the first time they had ever experienced rain. I found myself thinking during this: i am starting to find myself acting the same way with the Word. I read and i know i've read it before, but that is how I'm feeling right now. How is it though that one does not grow up from this feeling, this "child-like" faith? I though to myself how to live life over again and going through it all with the first time experiences...touch, smell, taste, seeing, hearing...i found myself thinking of what could i have changed, and if things would have been differently right now if i had done something different before, but then i realize, no, i could not trade anything for what has happened, because if it wasn't for what happened in the past, i would not be where I am today. Now i do feel terrible about the things i've done, but that does not change anything, i've asked for forgiveness and pray forgiveness has been granted...
...you could smell it coming...it looked like it could have done it all day long...rain. that sweet smell of rain when you know it is going to be a great rain storm coming in. you could hear some low rumbling thunder in the distance. it was a glorious time...after it rained, you could see the steam on the pavement...simply beautiful...
...do you ever have those days when you can just feel like it is going to be a good day? for some reason, despite the random 3 a.m. drunk call i received from an unknown person and the lack of being able to sleep due to the consistant sharp pains in my chest area (if ya get a chance pray for the chest pains, they've just recently been coming back stronger than i've ever experienced and i dunno what to think right now about them...i'm praying it is just stress and they go away...but they've never stuck around this long either in the past...), it just felt like it was going to be a great day. It was like I could hear God saying, "yeah, dude, kick back and relax, today is mine." Then i turned on the TV to learn of the crocadile hunter being murdered by a sting ray. i thought to myself, 'So he's tending the animals in a much bigger kingdom', and then i started out on my day...
posted by Josh at 12:36 AM
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