"dance puppet dance"

so recently i'm realizing that with everything going on, that i've been instructed on what to do and not been given many options (if any) or any opportunities to make a decision on my own. yesterday, after coming to complete peace w/ an issue, i had about a dozen strings attached to me and the strings were pulled all at once. i was forced into a situation that i had to follow through with which i didn't exactly agree on. i understand submitting to authority, but where is it that i'm able to make a desicion on my own. I mean, i did get myself into this situation, why can't i handle it? i was told today that i couldn't make a decision on my own. how old am i? i'm 24. i would understand this if i was 16, but i'm 24! maybe it's cause i look 16....but i'm 24! i guess you could say i'm having a Jack Bauer year...not exactly...

i have felt like i've had all of these strings attached to me and many people are pulling them all at once and not communicating to each other on what the next move is. I should only have one person pulling the strings on this one. I mean, when is it that I'll be able to say, hey, i'm "a real boy" and let the strings fall off? I can handle this one. Right now i'm just praying that God is giving wisdom to the ones pulling the strings.

I've learned so much in the past 2 weeks. about myself. about who i am. I've grown. i guess i haven't grown enough for the strings to be cut. Another analogy for this all is that i've been told i was in an accident, i'm in ICU right now and can't do anything for myself until i'm healed, then over time, the machine will be disconnected and i will be alright, but until then, i can't do it on my own. This healing process is going to take time. I feel that things are getting better. Some days aren't as easy as others, but God has been here right by my side all of the way...it just took an "accident" for me to realize what i needed to get set straight...

so as for now, there is nothing i can do about said situation, so many things that have taken place have been out of my control. the strings are being pulled and all i've been hearing from the puppet masters is "dance puppet dance"