not if, but when...

with recent events that have changed my immediate future plans i've got myself in a little predicatment.

you see, my internship with Harvester Christian Church has just been extended through to the end of March. Now today i was talking w/ a friend who said some words to me that really made me think. "it's not a matter of if God will guide you through the next few months, but when God will show you His plan for you"

I feel like I can seriously sum up my entire internship experience with that phrase "not if God will, but when God will"

God has been here by my side all through my internship experience...I've gone from a point of litterally hating ministry and questioning if ministry was seriously something that would be in my life, and it changed into me thinking of how i couldn't do ministry in my life. I truely have been blessed with everything i've had since the beginning of June up to now.

As i sit here thinking of all of the places i could end up after the end of March. One thing that is for sure, it's not if God will be there to guide me through this and open up something for me, but it is about when God will, and until He does clearify His will for me, i'm going to continue to do what i've been doing...pour myself out into this ministry....and even after he does display His will, I'm going to pour myself out into ministry wherever I go...

stars

well, the holiday season is here.
star story #1
thanksgiving consited of me going to my grandma & grandpa Behrens (mom side) and staying there from Wed. to Fri morning. Now they happen to live outside of Hannibal a bit so the city lights are very few. Much fewer than anywhere in St. Charles....so after hanging out at Jeremy's, it was around 3:30am when i got to my grandparent's house. I noticed that something that i had missed in quite awhile...stars....they were so bright and so many of them...it made me almost miss living in the country.

star story #2
I sat in Picasso's today to type out my sermon. I had encountered many different people throughout the afternoon and on into the evening. None were quite as attractive as the group of ladies that sat at the round table across from me. They looked familur and if our pathes ever cross again, i'm sure it'll be a true blessing...anyways...there was this one couple who really got me ticked off tonight....It was around 7ish when there was a couple that came in and sat next to me at a table. Before I knew it, the guy was yelling at the lady. I'm not talking about a joking yell either. He was yelling and pointing his finger in her face. I don't know how long they had been argueing, but it got to the point that I could hear him yelling at her over the music on my iPod. I was sort of in an awkward situation. Cause they were rather distracting i was getting kind of uncomfortable because at this point it was just me and this other couple in the coffee house...so here is where i was in a predictament. My laptop power cord was plugged into a power strip behind their table, which means that if i wanted to leave, i would have to ask them to unplug it. With this guy yelling, i don't know if interupting would have beent the smartest thing...so i turn my iPod up louder thinking i'll just try to block it all out....but he keeps getting louder and you can tell by now that this lady is feeling rather uncomfortable and wanting to leave. Finally she does. except he gets up and pulls her to him and gives her an awkward hug. she then left and it was time for me to leave, cause by now i had managed to finish my sermon. so i politely ask the guy to unplug my power cord for me and he was in the fakest happiest mood anyone has ever put on. he could have won an oscar....

thats it...

and here are a few funny quotes from my Grandparents while at home.

Grandma "now you all be sure to tell Lyndsey good job on everything she did cause we worked hard on this all day"
Me "well what all did she help with?"
Grandma "the rolls, green-bean salad, the yams, and the veggie tray"
Grandpa "so what the hell did you even do in here all day? Lyndsey cooked damn near all of our food for us"

Grandpa "Josh you coming back up here soon?"
Me "yeah, in a few weeks"
Grandpa "well i hope it's sooner than that, you know Grandma only feeds me when you kids come to visit"
Grandma "hey, thats not true"
Grandpa "oh so you expect him to believe your lies over mine?"

deciding

i've known this would be coming...the time has come to decide.

where i'll end up, only God knows.

i want to do His will. i am reminding myself that my plans are not necessarily His plans for me.

i know i'm called to ministry....where or what that is...i have yet to figure out...

the process it takes to get to where I'm supposed to be, has been and will continue to be a learning process and a blessing.

the options are on the table...time to decide...

any and all prayers are greatly appreciated.

things that will be done by 12/10/06

well, i hate to bring it up...but my time as an intern is coming to an end...and as of today, only God knows the plans of what happens after 12/10/06 (my last day as an intern)

with this in mind...and only 5 1/2 weeks left (possibly)...here is what will be done before then....
...and if you want to join me on any of these, just let me know...
feel free to add ideas or comment on these:

-go to a Blues game
-go to the city museum
-eat at Albert's
-walk through Forrest Park
-visit as many coffee houses around (Starbucks and locals)
-attempt to ice skate
-travel to Lambert's for one more meal


just a few things...can't think of many of the top of my head, but those are the ones i want to for sure take care of!

any of you reading this from st. louis area...any ideas or thoughts?