"Be Cool"...I'm a dentist...

While sitting around for my car to be ready last night i began thinking of how in the world i was going to get there to pick it up when it was ready. I felt like barfing all over the place when i realized that there was no one at home to take me to get my car. I thought, oh, no problem, i'll call goody up and have him help me out. I called his house, him mom answered, said he wasn't there. I called his cell, no answer, i left a message. I was freaking out...what if he never called me back...my only option that i could think of was to call up megan, why?...cause she would be there for me...or at least i was hoping so...needless to say, i stressed out too much and luke called me back...he was my savior for the evening. He took me down to get my car and all of that stress and everything to find out that my car wasn't ready yet. Not until saturday morning would it be ready. I was a little ticked, but whatever it took to get my car fixed. So it was Goody's Taxi/Male escort service to the rescue...although i only used his taxi services, i'll leave the male escorting to someone else...

We ended up going to see Be Cool after talking over our Taco Bell for nearly 2 hours. To make a really long story short, we wanted to go find kenny to see if he wanted to go along with us. Give everyone one guess where he was...yeah, where he usually is if he isn't at home or church...megan's...well we drove by there and he was walking out as we drove by and so we stopped. he said he'd go, and well i got to see megan..well a glimpse of her as she walked from her house to her car. It really started to get to me. Knowing that she was in town and to just be able to see her, oh it was killing me....didn't want it to be weird...but it already was, at least for me it was. So, Be Cool...funny, The Rock as a gay body-guard was funny, and John Travolta with Umma Thurman...who could ask for anything more...it was funny, not much plot to it though, jsut a bunch of big stars with little parts. Before the movie even started, luke and i were talking in his explorer. He flat out told me how he felt about megan and i's relationship and told me how i changed over the past 3 1/2 years...well actually, just when i started to go out w/ megan he said i changed. I know i changed and i feel bad for the way i pushed my friends off during that time. It came to me that he was telling me what i wanted to hear...right?...no, he was telling me what i needed to hear, or so i think...I just know that after the movie, i came home and starred at my phone for 20 minutes. Thinking about how i was tired of it being weird and wondering if my scategories game was at her house.

I did it.
I called her.
We talked for a good 1 1/2 hours. We fought some, had a few laughs. Found out that Ben was in town again. (now for those of you who don't know what has been going on, i'll fill you in w/ the basics: Ben was megan's ex before me...he caused a bunch of problems in our relationship because megan still wanted to be friends w/ him and this bothered me...i mean, hello..he was her ex...why would she wnat to still be friends with the way he had treated her?...anyways, over this past christmas break, she wanted to hang out with him really bad..i said no...(yeah, i was being a jerk, but w/ reason and if anyone wants to differ, bring it)...so, needless to say, he had been asking her over and over for a good month i guess, wanting to know if she broke up w/ me yet and said that she'll never do it...this gives me reason to believe that in all reality, she never really got over him cause i didn't allow her to, to a point...and them talking during our relationship the way they did...wasn't cool...i mean he called her at midnight one night over break, thinking i was going to already be gone...not cool man, seems like they were playing me out behind my back...and i learned that they talked a bunch right after megan broke up with me...well why not, any guy w/ a pair would realize that she would need a rebound...there is the recap..now where was i)...so ben was in town, he was jsut in town like 3 weeks ago and he goes to school somewhere out in kansas, not a short trip...and was gonna be in town again next weekend cause his spring break starts...so why would he come in town this weekend...hm.......duh, obvious, so megan was very open about how she thinks they will get back together, it hurt to hear it, but i just hope the lucky bastard is ready for what is coming to him. I mean, i just know that talking to her for awhile helped me some..in a way...told her that i wanted to be friends and not to make it weird anymore...when i mentioned about going to get my scategories game, she was like well i babysit all day saturday and won't be home till late...well she could have come out and said it from the beginning instead of hinting around it...she would be going out w/ ben that night, just as she did that night...however, she went to his house...and this frustrates me even more...cause it wasn't like megan to just come over to my house, i had to beg for her to ever come over here to my house, of course i kinda understand since...well my house isn't anything to be proud of, but you know what, after 3 1/2 years, you'd think that wouldn't be an issue w/ someone...anyways...i asked if i could come over after church to get it and she was like, well, i dunno cause ben might be going to church w/ her........WHAT THE...COMING TO THE ONLY PLACE I COULD FEEL A LITTLE MORE SECURE FROM ALL OF THIS...i didn't say anything, just know that he has his own church, why should he come to ours...thats great if he does for the right reasons and well...lets just say, i don't think so....megan really wanted him to come though, i could hear it in her voice...we'll see though...his exscuse for not possibly coming was to get back to school to watch some NCAA bball games...high priorities...let me tell you...well, all in all, we talked and had it out at times about how others tell us just what we want to hear, cause anyone we have talked to will just agree with us and make the other out to be the bad guy. Just know that there is not much hope for me around here in hannibal, especially w/ anyone megan has talked to, since they know what they now know...cause at one point i went off the deep end, i can explain later if your interested...with that information, it really hinders my character...i mean, what was i supposed to do, we had been going out for 3 1/2 years!!!! just be okay w/ it all and go on w/ my life perfectly fine...no, i don't think so...needless to say, yeah i had cried a bit, it hurt, but it was more of an accomplished feel good hurt...hard to explain, just felt good to actually talk to her...hope we can still be freinds, i mean, seems like i was at least the bigger person to extend that hand and try to mend up what was all shot to hell just 2 months ago....
moving on...
i went to get my car this morning, it sounded 100 times better and i then went on to the dredded dentist office....(evil mysterious music)
i told the dentist that my wisdom teeth had been causing some pain recently, the dentist told me that i have my wisdom teeth...I though...REALLY.....wow, glad he has his degree in dentistry and not in verifying the obvious...I also have a small cavity in one of my teeth in the front...i'll comment more on all of this later on...
i mean, i have said alot...i'm sorry for the long blog, but hope you understand, lots on the mind.
i'll post again later today, i'm sure of it...